message

this was one message that i just wrote one of my good friends, I know that the theme is redundant but when there's nothing else in your head what can u do? i'm using the email just because im too lazy to re-type
hello


how are u morgan? i miss you both, friends like you guys are very hard to find did you know that. I dont know what it is, maybe the beer heh

so, I've been thinking about that word you told me closure, and you nailed it, that's why i cry like a dog everyday and I feel life cant be possible without her.
I look at her, and she is so content with her life, I haven't have the opportunity to talk to her in a long time, everytime we see eachother the kids and a lot of things are going on around us, I have invited her to have coffee or a cocktail to talk to me, she doesnt take the invitation easy... probably because she knows that im going to cry and blablaal. and when you are over somebody you just dont want to see that, i get it.
I just want to have some kind of closure, will talking to her bring it, maybe not maybe yes. maybe I'll put a shotgun on my head and that will be it hah (bad joke)
I am left with all these emotions and I just can accept that the answer is so simple, there is no love left.

MY cousin called me today he said I could work for his gf production company as an production art assistant or something like that.. he said that they only work maybe twice a month but when they do its like 12 to24 hrs shifts.
im scared of mexico city, most of all i'm scared of being 100% alone... like not know ANYONE besides that cousin... but then we should be able to be ok alone right? i just dont see where im going to pull the streght from.
So i'll have a job in mexico city, oh! but yesterday my friends where mentioning about this little town 45 minutes from can cun. called Playa del Carmen, google it and you'll see that is like heaven. it has a huge European community living there and most of the business are managed in english, so i'll have a chance there and its only 3 hrs away from merida, and can always visit jude ;( but I dont have a contact there or nothing so its kinda impossible.
anyway, so I guess mexico city it is in january, i hope by then i'm better.
It is so bad for your selfesteem seeing your ex so happy after the breakup and you so alone and sad.
would you pick me up at the border and warp me in a blanket and sing to me beatles songs?

awwwwwwwww