today

today is not a good day. i cant stop crying.
I feel like for a few these I held it in and now it came back.
What am i going to do of my life? everything sounds so impossible, everything has crashed down. I just didnt expect this... fuck man, this sucks.. it huuuuurts, it is killing me.
the love of my life god dammit.
these past few days I felt so strong about going to mexico city, now I just can imagine how it would feel not be a walking distance of them.
I know, it will probably will get tolerable as time passes by... but meanwhile?
I went to the job fair, i gave my resume to all the hotels I could.. most only offered maybe the position of Receptionist. since I dont have any higher education. ... and wait until they see my tattoos. so see, like it will be incredible difficult to stay here and find a job, at least a job that I semi-like.. and what if i go mexico and there's nothing there either? or if there is then I'll be far away from the kids and faith.
whatever.......... this blog is useless, its the same crap just different day, its been a week today since we moved out.
oh fuck man i dont know how im going to make it.