my mother is crazy. she is bipolar and a has spent almost 20000 pesos in credit cards and now the banks want their monye back and ofcourse she cant pay back and who knows how she spent the money. she wont say or admit the truth. she cries when is cornered or when she remembers sad things, keeps talking bad of my grandma and her sister her eyes even praises the memory of my grandfather who i think was the root of all that family mental health.
my father likes to think that his family consist of his son, his wife and his stepdaugher. my sisters and I aer a painful and shameful reminder of a mistake.
my little sister is so traumatized that spits hate everytime you talk to her. this has been the most devastavating realization. she is so sick, so full of issues so angry and the worst thing is that she think she is using religion to get better. so in the name of jesus she thinks she is doing better, which is obvious she is not. I cant continue living here in my own home with her and her abusive husband.
faith and the kids are living soon to their new happy home, i will move to massiel's house and hopefully she will be a better person to live with for a while... for a while cause i'm not going to last in this city. with this family with this sadness surronding me.
I'm starting to get in my head that I wont be part of the kids future and that's fucking hard. but how can I? Im in love with faith and pretend to be her friend will be the heaviest rock to sink me into depression.
yes I will be rather be in long beach right now with my friends, with the people who loved be because of who i am. but I understand I had to come here to start living my adulthood life...i dont even know if that's grammatically correct. who the fucks cares.
anway, i came to claim my own name.
right now, i have no friends that i could talk to and cry to.
my family is a mess
faith wishes i didnt exist.
depression is destroying me and i only have 200 dollars in my wallet
what the future will hold? who knows.
i hope another country
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